Intentional rest

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A lot’s been going on in my life as of late. (Since that last post, I’ve become a shift leader at Chick-fil-A as well…as you can probably imagine, this adds a fair amount of craziness.) But is that really anything new? Often there’s so much going on that I forget all about resting. Or at least, I forget that it’s important and necessary. Rest? Isn’t that just laziness? I’m too busy to rest anyway. I’ll rest later.

I don’t know about you, but whenever I tell myself I’m going to do something “later”…it’s a long time before it happens, if it even happens at all. But a funny thing happens when I don’t rest: I hit a point in the day or week where I’m just not being productive anymore. I’ve told myself I don’t have time to rest, so I go go go until I burn out. Then instead of doing actual restful things, I crash and end up scrolling endlessly (and mindlessly) through Facebook or following link trails through the internet, meanwhile feeling like I should be doing this, that, or the other thing. And an hour or two later when I emerge from this mind-numbing state, I feel like I’ve wasted time. And you know what? I have. Because I don’t actually feel rested. Therefore, my brain equates “things that are not to-dos” as bad/not helpful, which includes rest.

So what’s wrong with this picture? Several things.

First, I need to realize that I need rest. Rest isn’t for the weak or the lazy. Rest is actually commanded by God (Exodus 34:21). During Jesus’ ministry, while His disciples were busy coming and going everywhere, He told them to come and rest a while (Mark 6:31). Jesus Himself promised to give rest to weary souls who come to Him (Matthew 11:28-30).

Rest is important because we have limits on our bodies. Rest is the way of restoring ourselves. Just as sleep is important for physical rest, we need to rest ourselves emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. There is no such thing as too busy to rest. If you absolutely cannot set aside time to rest and recharge, you are too busy. This is something I’ve had to learn time and time again because my natural tendency is to fill up every second of every day, to be non-stop full speed ahead. Certainly, it’s good to not be sitting around bored or useless. But as soon as all of those things become immovable and unable to be paused, there is too much on my plate and some things have to go.

After realizing I need rest–really letting that sink in and change my schedule–I need to recognize what counts as rest. Remember earlier when I said scrolling through Facebook doesn’t count as rest? It may have been giving my brain a mental break, but it wasn’t beneficial to me in any way. Now, I’m not saying reading your social media newsfeeds are all bad. But using it as your go-to form of “rest and relaxation” isn’t helpful to you.

Activities that help you rest vary from person to person, but the principle is the same. Resting activities should help you change gears, relax, and refresh. They should build you up, restore your energy, and leave you calm. For example, if you’ve been straining your brain at some math problems for the past hour and a half and you’re so frustrated you are getting worse instead of better at solving the problems, you need a mental rest. Time to check out and watch a TV show, right? Um…no. Use the principle of changing gears and do something physical. Take a walk, ride your bike, shoot some hoops. Whatever it is should be something you enjoy that uses your body rather than your brain. Doesn’t this use energy? Absolutely, but it uses a different kind. This helps you rest by refocusing, by taking a break from what was taxing you and doing something else that helps you.

Maybe you’ve had a long hard day at work, on your feet hauling boxes around, climbing ladders, and contorting into strange positions to try to reach things (heh…me on Saturdays at work, stocking, because I’m short). When you get home, the last thing you’re going to want to do is anything involving muscle movement. That big squishy chair is calling your name. Surely now is the time to catch up on your favorite comic, right? Not so fast! When your body is tired, try using your brain. I’m not saying you have to tackle that chemistry homework the second you walk through the door. You’re resting, remember? But now might be a good time to read a chapter or two of a good book. I’m slowly working through G.K. Chesterton’s The Everlasting Man. It’s a non-fiction book, best read a little at a time. It makes me think, but it’s still relaxing to read.

Getting the picture? Rest is something you do intentionally. It doesn’t happen accidentally. You have to deliberately choose to do it. It’s not something huge and complicated, and it’s not supposed to be exhausting. You just have to pick an activity that is beneficial to restoring whatever “tank” is running on empty at that moment. Also, not all your free time has to be resting time. You can still watch that TV show or read that novel. Just don’t confuse it with rest.

Finally, consider when to rest. God gave His people one whole day a week to rest. Obviously that’s a pretty big amount of time. Our world doesn’t always work that way now, unfortunately, but we can still use this as a guideline. I try not to deal with school stuff on the weekends, since those are filled with work and church events. During the weekdays, I try to give myself time to rest on days I work, and get school and most of the to-do list items done on the other days. But sometimes rest doesn’t always work out to be planned. Sometimes you need to listen to your body and do a check-up on your mind and see what it is you need at that point. As a general rule of thumb, if you’re stressed and frustrated and aren’t making any more progress on whatever the project is, you need a break. Aren’t sure? Ask God. He knows you better than you know yourself. And if rest isn’t convenient for you at that moment, or you feel like you’re too busy? Trust Him. If He commands us to rest, it’s for good reason, and we need to trust that He will work things out.

I’m speaking to myself, here. Resting at the right times and resting well is something I struggle with. Realizing that it needs to be done intentionally or it won’t get done at all is one of the most important things I’ve learned about rest in the past year. The other most important thing I’m learning is that my rest ultimately comes from God, and all the other methods are secondary to the rest from His Word. Neglecting my daily time with Him in the Bible is a sure-fire way to ensure resting is going to be a struggle for the rest of that day and week.

This week, I am working on recognizing when I need rest and trying to make wise choices about what that rest should look like.

What about you? Why is rest important to you, and how do you do it?

Beauty in every moment

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The funny thing about moments is they don’t often stick around.

Half the time, by the time we notice something is a moment, it’s gone. The other half the time, it seems, we’re caught up wishing we could make it last forever.

What would it look like to live recognizing each moment for what it is, and treasure it while it exists, rather than wishing for its passing or for it to stay? 

It’s an absolutely beautiful day here in Florida. Mid 70s, sunny but not too bright, and windy. My day hasn’t gone quite as expected so far–my Dutch lesson was cancelled–but I am outside soaking up this moment.

Mondays at work are notoriously slow. A 7-hour shift often seems to drag by slower than a turtle on a hot day. But with the right attitude and a dash of good humor, those days can offer some of the best moments spent at Chick-fil-A. This week, one of my friends and I wondered just how much it would cost to buy one of everything on the menu. Eagerly, we approached one of the registers and began poking row after row of buttons, giggling like maniacs as we watched the total climb higher and higher. When we had finished, the “order” more than covered the entire screen at the station where orders are bagged. The receipt that printed when I cancelled the transaction was almost 3 feet long. We laughed until our stomachs hurt. (If you ever wondered this too, by the way, it’s $478.65.)

Sunday night a dear friend and I sat in our church’s coffee shop, sipping milkshakes and talking about the discussions on abortion we’d each had with a friend the week before. We kept getting interrupted and I lost my train of thought several times, and we laughed as we tried to chase that train down and get it back on the tracks. Our hearts ached over the topic and we longed that our friends would remember what we had shared with them.

Saturday at work I spent a moment on the floor, scrubbing baseboards, snatching my hand out of the way whenever another employee tromped by. It wasn’t the prettiest of jobs, but it needed doing, and I was the one available to do it. I found a nickel on the floor and washed it off, joking that it was my tip.

What does it mean to treasure a moment? I believe it means to be aware of what is going on around you. To be present with all that you are.

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To live with purpose. Not wasting away the moments God has given you. (Psalm 90:12 “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”)

To live with joy. Choosing to treat each moment as precious and worthy of your best attitude and effort, because God has chosen it for you.

I’m re-reading an old favorite book called Perfect Glass. There’s a line in there I read this morning, when an old woman with a huge heart who has hardened it through bitterness for years is dying, and wants to share her regrets and last plea with the main character, Meg.

“If you have someone to love, then love. If you have someone to forgive, then forgive. You think, when you’re seventeen, there’s time enough for that, but there’s not. There’s no time at all.” – Jo Russell, from Perfect Glass by Laura Anderson Kurk

I’m seventeen. I will be seventeen for exactly 9 more days. And it’s true. I do catch myself thinking “there’s time enough for that.” For doing the things that are important, but not exactly pleasant. For putting in the effort to invest in the things that matter.

But time is the most precious commodity, not only because we can never get it back, but because it is limited and we don’t know how much of it we will be given. It’s uncertain. The grains of sand in the hourglass may all pass to the other side much sooner than we expect.

I don’t want to enter eternity to face the God of the universe and be making excuses about how I treated the precious moments He gave me. I don’t want to remember with regret the moments I treated with disgust or annoyance, the ones I took for granted and the ones I wished wouldn’t have happened. Each day is a gift and a responsibility. If I’m here, it means He has something for me today. My time on earth isn’t finished because my job isn’t. 

I want to live intentionally this year. I want to live with purpose, on purpose. I want to cherish the moments I’ve been given and make my best effort to seek God’s will for them, and then do it.

Will you join me?

 

What are some moments you treasure?

What are some ways you live intentionally?


P.S. I’m kicking off fundraising for my missions internship in the Netherlands this summer! I’d appreciate it if you check out my website and consider giving or sharing this with others who can.

Confident failure

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So much comes down to confidence.

No, this is not a lecture on self-esteem, or a proposition that you should dig deep within yourself and find self-confidence, or anything like that. Bear with me, here.

Something my Bible Quiz coach said a couple years ago that stuck with me was to stand up and give your answer clear and proud. “Be confident, even if you’re confidently wrong,” she said. Not that being wrong was a good thing, but that you shouldn’t let fear of being wrong get in the way of being confident.

Other things I’ve picked up throughout the years– “What’s the point of making a point if you’re going to hedge your bets on a ‘safe’ one?” “Sell me on it.” “Use strong words when you write. Not wish-washy, politically and socially correct words.” And of course, the old adage “fake it ’til you make it.”

Last Saturday at work, one of my coworkers asked me to pour the lemonade he’d brought up into the lemonade fountain. “To be honest, I just can’t do it,” he admitted sheepishly. I told him it was all right and poured it promptly. Watching, he asked, “How do you just do it?” “Confidence,” I replied. “Confidence and practice.”

I’ve never placed much stock in the “believe and you can achieve” idea, but it’s partially true. While learning how to do something, you need to consciously decide to get over your shaky hands and your fear of inadequacy. Of course you’re going to be inadequate. Of course you’re going to fail. You’re learning! You need the boldness and confidence to keep trying. To be confidently wrong. Not full of pride or being obstinate when someone tells you you have done it wrong. But not being afraid to try and to make mistakes, either.

Confidence and practice go hand-in-hand. The more confident you are, the more you will practice. And the more you practice, the more confident you will become.

Going back to the lemonade, the first couple times I tried, I knew I was going to spill it. The mouth of the machine was way over my head, and the bucket of lemonade was very full and weighed almost 25 pounds. My hands shook as I lifted the sloshing container of liquid above my head, and sure enough, I spilled a ton of lemonade everywhere. It was quite a mess. But you know what? I cleaned it up and went on with life. Another day, someone showed me a different way I could try to pour the lemonade, and I tried again.

That was the key–I wasn’t confident in my abilities yet, because I didn’t have any. I recognized that, but chose not to let fear of failure keep me from learning. Instead of confidence in my ability to pour lemonade, I had confidence in my ability to learn, given enough practice. And eventually, I did it right for the first time. The practice had paid off and given me a huge boost in confidence, which encouraged me to keep practicing and perfecting my technique until I could do it every time. As a result of that, on Saturdays when I’m on stock now, and have to pour lemonade twice an hour, I have the confidence of experience–the confidence that enables me to just pick up the bucket and go every time.

I think we all know confidence is important. We just don’t always know where to find it. A lot of times we think of confidence as only naive arrogance–“I know I can do this perfectly on the first try”–or the confidence that comes through experience–“I know I can do this because I’ve done it before.” But this provides nothing to start from. How do we find confidence in the face of a seemingly insurmountable task? Where do we get the confidence to simply begin?

This is what I’d like to offer you today. I actually already mentioned it in passing earlier. Rather than trying to scrounge up confidence in abilities you don’t yet have, be confident that you can learn them if you will just start. Have confidence that failures will not keep you from your goal. Find confidence in your past experience of starting things with no skill whatsoever, yet seeing them through to fruitful completion. Look to others who have successfully accomplished what it is you’re setting out to do and be encouraged. Seek out their wisdom if you can. Gather tips and information and formulate a game plan.

Lastly, recognize that although failure is at some point inevitable, it doesn’t have to keep you from your goal. Give yourself the freedom to be confident enough to take action, even if it results in confident failure.

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” – Philippians 1:6

 

Living integrified

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It’s interesting how God helps us grow. We ask Him to make us more patient, He gives us opportunities to be patient. Uncomfortable, annoying opportunities. We ask Him to make us solid through and through, a person of integrity, and He puts us in tough situations where we want to compromise.

I was supposed to work 4-9 the other day, with a break. Now, that’s an odd shift, because it doesn’t make much sense from a business standpoint, but I just shrugged and said to myself, “Hey, I’ll take an easy shift.” Well, I walked into work at 3:57 and checked the daily schedule sheet. Instead of 4-9 next to my name, there was a 4-8. With no break.

Did anyone call me and tell me about this? No. No notice whatsoever. And I hadn’t eaten anything since 12:30. I was a little annoyed. This wasn’t the first time this has happened. But I took a deep breath and tried to calmly talk to the manager on duty about it. She was understanding and apologized. And then she offered to let me eat something on the clock, in the back out of the way somewhere. Now, I had a choice to make.

Integrity–doing the right thing even when your manager is going to let you go ahead and do something you really want to do, but can’t in good conscience.

That’s how we grow.

So I thanked her for her thoughtfulness, but said, “I can’t do that.” She just shrugged and that was that. I worked hard through my shift and pressed on when my stomach started growling. It wasn’t fun. It wasn’t easy. I didn’t feel great or righteous doing it. But that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Doing right no matter how you feel about it at the time.

What exactly is integrity? One of the definitions of having integrity is being whole, undivided. That’s the definition we use for a piece of pottery or a wall. “It was well made; it had integrity.” But it applies to people as well. Integrity is being undivided in your life. You walk what you talk. You do what’s right even when you won’t necessarily get in trouble for doing the wrong thing.

Why is integrity important? Because if I’m going to tell people to be honest, I have to be honest. That’s being whole. Without cracks. Undivided in my loyalties. Jesus said you cannot serve both God and money (or, really, yourself). You have to choose. And not just hypothetically, in your heart, saying “Yes, God, I’ll serve You.” He will test that decision through opportunities like the example I shared. He wants to refine us. And when we choose to do right even when it doesn’t seem to make sense, we stand out as stars in the blackness of the sky. Not every decision to act with integrity is going to be witnessed by others, but plenty will be. And that tells people around us that we are committed to doing right even when it seems crazy to do so. “But it’s just some food,” one coworker said to me in confusion. “What’s the big deal? She was going to let you do it.”

While eating food on the clock may not be a “big deal,” my response to the offer absolutely was in God’s eyes. There’s no such thing as a “little compromise” in God’s book. And the last time I checked, He made the rules. It’s God who gets to judge what’s a big deal.

The stories of Daniel and his three friends carry the theme of integrity pretty strongly. We admire and respect them for their refusal to compromise and bow down to the king’s idol. But sometimes we forget that in order to stand firm on the big things, we need to be in the habit of acting with integrity in the small things.

You may see only small opportunities to stand up and stand firm in your life, but that is how God grows us. Be faithful in the “little” things, and He will entrust you with far greater things. Realize that God doesn’t measure our devotion to Him in size or “greatness” of actions. He cares about our hearts.

What ways can you see God working in your life?